Photographic Truths

just because this makes me laugh; one of our instructors gave it to us last year and it lives on the front of my binder now to cheer me up when I'm studying boring things like literary thoery.

Photographic Truths

*Being a Sampler of Morals, Axioms, & Precepts To Which Every Photographer Should Expose Himself*

~~The best scenic turnouts are clearly designated by highway signs reading No Stopping Anytime

~~Edward Steichen owned a 3-legged dog, who he named Tripod

~~The post office folds all parcels containing photographs

~~Camera straps never fail above soft surfaces

~~Lens caps and cable releases can become invisible at will

~~Dense negatives sink

~~Shutterbugs result from cross-breeding silverfish with flashbulbs

~~Spotone bottles are designed to tip over when the cap is removed

~~Photographers fade faster than photographs

~~Financial success in photography is directly related to proper choice of subject matter. Falling airplanes, exploding volcanoes, and certain presidential motorcades work best.

~~No two lightmeters agree

~~The word "Daguerreotype" cannot be spelled correctly

~~A new hasselblad would take better pictures than your current camera

~~1/60 at f/8 is the correct exposure for all photographs

~~When your friends finally realize that you are a true artist, committed to making sensitive and meaningful images, they will ask you to photograph their wedding

~~The most difficult problem encountered in designing the Polaroid sx-70 camera was not to get it to regurgitate a picture instantly, but to get it to make the appropriate sound--Bleaaagh!--while doing so

~~Colour slide viewing cures insomnia

~~On any tripod, only two legs work properly

~~Dust spots are attracted ot sky areas

~~Popular Photography is to photography what The Sound of Music is to Music

~~All B&White pictures eventually fade into full colour (?? ok, I admit, I don't get this one)

~~Yes, photographers Do It In The Dark...but they have to stop every 30 seconds to agitate the developer

~~Distant objects cannot be recorded with short exposures--light travels only 186 miles in 1/1000 of a second

~~Followers of Minor White are known as minor Whites

~~There's nothing worng with a 35mm camera that a 4x5 can't cure

~~Ansel Adams has threee Secret Zones know only to him!

~~Mountboard becomes stiffer by plying with itself

~~When Man creates a sharper lens, nature will create a fuzzier subject

~~Safelight aren't. Available light won't be. On the other hand gadget bags are

~~Fast films conpensate for slow photographers

~~When the price of silver hits $76/oz, all photographs will be melted down for their silver content

~~Owning more than one lens assures that your will always have the wrong lens on the camera for any given picture

~~Mounting a photograph is a misdemeanor in Arkansas

~~A butter knife is a useful tool for making minor adjustments to cameras that a camera store would charge $10 to make

~~A camera store will charge $75 to repair a camera that has been adjusted with a butter knife

~~Short exposures my cause reciprocity success

~~Falling lenses are attracted to rocks ~~Into ever life a little grain myst fall

~~Sharper lenses won't help--realism is unrelated to reality

~~Expose for the secrets, develope for the surprises!

AND REMEMBER: silver salts are sensitive to thought.

At One with your shoes...

I wish I had a picture of the shoes that the models in America's Next Top Model wore tonight in one of their challenges. Those platformed stilletos would have made my new dance shoes look like kitten heels. I also wish I could get my hands on a pair to see how well I could walk in them; let me show those girls how to really move in heels ;) Ok, yes, false bravado, but really it's jsut a matter of being at one with your shoes...

NEW SHOES!!!

Here they are; in all their new shiny, sparkly, metalic gold brilliance :) 4 months and 21 days after they were ordered they are finally in my possession. I was going to post a photo of my old pair as well but I'm not sure I want to show off how disgusting they were... *EDIT* ok, decided to include the icky old ones afterall.

Feb 18th

Daily dose

of humour; we all need to laugh (some days more than others).


Bumper Stickers:

If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Earth Is Full - Go Home.
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I Have The Body Of A God - Buddha.
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So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.
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Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Honk If Anything Falls Off.
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Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.
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He Who Hesitates Not Only Is Lost, But is Miles From The Next Exit. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You! Out Of The Gene Pool - Now!
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I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Seen Upside Down On A Jeep) If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...
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Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph Also Are Timed For 70 mph
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If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
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Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
[I know a certain black VW GTI I'd like to stick this one on ;) ]
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Boldly Going Nowhere.
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Caution - Driver Legally Blonde.
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Heart Attacks: God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GROW YOUR OWN DOPE -- PLANT A MAN. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All Men Are Animals; Some Just Make Better Pets. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Johari/Nohari Window

K, I saw this on Maggie's site and it looked interesting...

First I describe me, then you describe me and then it sorts the descriptors according to how you see yourself/how others see you/what you dont' see/what they don't see...

The first one is primarily positive: my Johari window

This second one is fairly negative: my Nohari window
(go on; I can take it ;) )

Mutiny cafe-culture style

http://www.beyondrobson.com/city/2006/02/mutiny_at_the_cafe/

I found this article and the comments it inspired very interesting; nothing like a little controversy to bring forth the whole gamut of human responses. There are always many sides to any one story and probably as many "truths" as there are sides. A good thing to remember I suppose when dealing with issues in one's own life...

Waiting...still...

4 months, 2 days, no shoes, and possibly no routine for Val's show after all this. I'm soooo not impressed right now.




^ Unimpressed Carl (wouldn't you be if your guinea pig jsut hit you in the face with a carrot?) apparently looks very similar to unimpressed IndigoEve

February 15th

I considered blog-grumping about Valentine's Day yesterday, however, I decided that grumping about Valentine's Day is equally as grating as the commercialized holiday itself. So I refrained.

I had a very busy day which alternated between kids and dancing and occassionally mixing the two. Parts of it were very entertaining. I could have done without working at the morning childcare at the rec centre though. 5 years and under is not -in my opinion - a good way to start my day; they are strange little beings. I assume that I will warm up to them if I ever have any of my own. At the moment however I'll be very happy when this stint of subbing at the rec center's morning daycare is over with.

After daycare there was a trip to CR for some dance demonstrating at an ele school. Jay I did a bit of swing and swing hustle for the kids at their "sock hop" (apparently the last principal had more sense than the current one and wouldn't have ok'd such an idea; this one however is obviously braver, or so we were told...) The classes took turn demo-ing different dances and then everyone got to try them... I must say we managed a very spirited rendition of the Chicken Dance (oh yes, we were definately wearing our "good role model" hats *wink*). Then back to the rec center for 2 hours of the After School Care program and of course, because I got back late and didn't have time to change out of my "nice" clothes it turned out to be play games in the woods day. Thankfully my co-worker had some extra runners so I didn't have to wear my "clacky" shoes (read: high heels, in 8 year old speak) in the woods. And Trina gave Jenn and I tiramisu tea and a chocolate truffle for Valentine's. I love my co-workers.

So so far it's been kids, dance (with kids), kids. Right time for more dance (for kids). Bry and I were volunteered by Val (dance teacher) to do our swing routine at one of Comox's middle schools. They were having a Valentine's family dinner/dance/music fundraiser and since we had been there a couple of weeks ago to teach them swing and their Jazz band and a community jazz band were contributing to the evening's festivities it somehow followed that we should perform as well... uhhh yeah so... we totally flubbed up the beginning of it. Happily though the rest of the routine is interesting enough that I suspect people won't remember the muck-up. I hope. By this time it's 715. Off to dance class. Yup - that's right - depending on how well you know me you've noticed that I'm spending a large chuck of Valentine's evening with my ex, hehe...good thing he doesn't hate me (or at least Is really nice person); our swing routine gives him plenty of opportunities to drop my on my head. Quite literally.

Kids, dance (with kids), kids, dance (for kids), dance. Coffee. Ok, I broke the pattern. 11 hours later. It had to happen at some point :) Coffee with Cob. Very nice. Mind you, the two girls working at the coffee shop were former "farm kids" so I don't I didn't manage to break the pattern entirely.

Last, but not least, a new episode of Gilmore Girls to finish off the day with. Yay!

It has occured to me while writing this that I didn't blog-grump about Valentine's Day because I didn't have anything to grump about. I had a pretty good day. Spent time with some good people (yes, a number of kids are included in that statement), had fun, hopefully inspired someone to try dancing, and just generally was a happy Indigo Eve.

*Big Grin*

Done.

It's officially possible if not official yet. I'm done. I passed Engl 480 which means I've finally finished all requirements for a B.A. with a major in english. I'm still not really sure what cruel god fated that one to happen, but it did, and he or she is probably having a very good laugh at my expense over it. "Would you like fries with that?" Or, I figure, more likely in my case "would you like whip cream on your mocha?" (yes, despite the less than stellar experience as a barista at the Komox Grind) I've contemplated telling my highschool english teacher about my choice of degree, but I'd prolly give him a heart attack. The only reason I didn't fail his courses was because he let me hand in everything in the last week. Hmmm. Some things never change.
So I grad in June. There WILL be pictures. And that blasted piece of paper that everyone tells you is so useful is getting framed. Then I will use it to cover a nail hole in my wall and it will therefore prove itself useful.